21 Fundamental Truths.

 I am prone to over thinking.

I often over-think in inappropriate situations, like when I'm  driving, trying to sleep or should be paying attention to someone else. The worst part is that I am REALLY bad at hiding it. I have an extremely over-expressive face that reacts to all of the emotions that cross my thoughts. I will think of something sad and all of the sudden, in the middle of a conversation, my face looks like a precious moment doll, therefore confusing the recipient of my conversation. I have now been found out... I wasn't listening and they know. Either that, or people think I am mentally unstable, as if I am having a dramatically disproportional or unrelated reaction to whatever they just said. I then panic, which also shows on my face.

I actually had a college professor stop a class of 40+ students to inform me that I make extremely weird faces and asked me to  stop. She wasn't a particularly captivating orator, and I have ADD. I was actually constantly distracting this woman and making it hard for her to teach. I secretly found this hilarious, which probably also showed on my face. She never really did like me. Oh, well. Can't change my face.

During this process, I have epiphanies that I try to relate to real-life metaphors, as if I am trying to find symbolism in my own life's novel. Sometimes I sound brilliant, other times I only think I sound brilliant until I reflect on it later. I have listed some below in random order for sharing purposes or conversation topics.

                                                            21 Fundamental Truths

1. Reading causes a person to be empathetic. You have the opportunity to  live through complex emotions with the characters in the story. Life-changing  events are often described intimately in first person. You feel these things with them. If I ever come across a close friend that is struggling with the fact that the love of their life has been lying about the crazy ex wife that they have locked up in the attic of their castle, and she didn't find out until the wedding day, I can totally relate. I read Jane Eyre. I've been there.

2."Unisex is never a good word when associated with a potential clothing item or accessory." (Mary)

3. Dino nuggets are better than ambiguously shaped nuggets, and character band aids are better than the skin colored ones. Why not make things more fun if you have the option?

4. Very few people are motivated by cruelty, negativity, and put downs. However, parents, teachers, coaches, loved ones and peers seem to do this constantly, using the excuse that they are "helping", or giving them "brutal honesty." Being insensitive about someone's flaws in order to make them better is backward thinking. Once someone is told that they are worthless, ugly, stupid, or untalented, it becomes part of their permanent thinking. It sometimes takes a lifetime to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Words can cause deep emotional scars that never will heal.

5. Calories don't exist on your birthday.

6.  (going with Number 4) I think it takes twice as much energy to find the good in people. Finding the bad in people is easy, obvious, and lazy.

7. Depriving yourself of chocolate is unnecessary and cruel. Unless you are allergic, then depriving yourself is smart, but life is cruel.

8. Every girl should be told how beautiful they are. Saying it is so easy, and it means so much to hear. Women spend a majority of their lives trying to make themselves look good, so some reassurance every once in a while goes a long way. Think of the last time that you received a compliment that improved your day. Now go do it for someone else.

9. You are never too old for chocolate milk, gummy bears, and sugary cereal. This principle also applies to   rainbow sprinkles on your ice cream.

10. People should matter more than your to-do list. I need to work on this. Don't get me wrong, you have to make your responsibilities a priority, but they should never be number one. School assignments, errands and the laundry can wait. Your loved ones deserve a higher ranking than the crap you have to get done.  It really hurts to be tossed aside or put on the back burner. Being an adult is all about finding a healthy balance, and some people have a hard time getting there.

11. There is no excuse for treating people badly and not apologizing.  Sure, it sucks while you are saying it. You feel like crap, and you get a crazy panicky feeling like when you had to admit your wrongs to your parents when you were little. However, the feeling that you get when you don't apologize is a whole lot worse and lasts longer. Think of the logic! Suck it up and apologize already. It really is not difficult to form the words "I am sorry,  I was wrong" or "I'm sorry I hurt you" Swallow your pride and admit when you did something wrong, I promise, you will feel better later. neglecting to do the right thing doesn't make you more right, it just makes you more weak.

12. I am a believer in mascara on the bottom lashes.

13. I spent my adolescence feeling disappointed and bitter, telling myself that life will never get any better. I had been dealt a few bad hands, and I pretended to feel angry at the world.  Halfway through college I realized that I was like an actress playing a part, and that my character needed a more dramatic back-story to be convincing. I'm a child of God that was raised in a loving home, and surrounded by fantastic people. I needed to stop pretending I was living in a lifetime movie. My  lifetime movie would be boring, no one would see it.  I can't help but love my life, even when people and unexpected plot twists let me down. Optimism plagues me like a chronic disease, with symptoms of creativity and quirky, strange behavior. I hope it's contagious.

14. It's really OK to cry while you watch reality television. People may judge. They be haters.

15. Dear boyfriends, brothers,  fathers, and male friends, you just really need to get over yourself when women talk about PMS. We love you. We are saying it for YOUR benefit. It's like a tornado watch on the five o'clock news. Doppler radar is warning you that a storm of crazy has arrived or may be coming, and to take cover until it passes. Being annoyed or grossed out is a bad plan, especially we just informed you that we are emotionally unstable. Give us chocolate and a sympathetic facial expression. Don't be a d-bag.

16. Furthermore, in an argument,  if a woman is irrational, NEVER suggest that it could be PMS.You should always assume that she has a point in what she is saying. If she is not of sound mind at the time of said argument, she will  appreciate your kindness and apologize later. Or she should, at least. It is never a good idea to engage in a power struggle with a crazy person.

17. Men generally suck at dating. Women  know this. Men know this.  I have no idea why they avoid watching romantic comedies. Gentlemen, romance is not grand  mystery you can't hope to solve. There are millions of books and movies that spell it out for you.  A chick flick is a visual and entertaining guide to a girl's expectations and what you should probably be doing. The world has provided this handy tool for you.
Confession time: We don't actually expect you to write us 365 letters. If a girl does expect this, she is probably still 16, and also expects you to be a vampire, so she should probably hold off on dating. We would prefer you to communicate a basic level of love and emotion and maybe call us back. Don't be the guy that believes that movies make girls expect too much. Why don't you exceed her expectations instead of making her settle for the tiny amount of yourself that you are willing to give? Putting her first requires a great deal of courage. It adds to your manhood, not subtracts from it.

18. If you can't tell already,  I tend to be a little opinionated about men. Blame my father; he always exceeds expectations. Also, my Mom is always there to show me an example of what a strong, wise,  and loving woman looks like. My Dad always loves, and my Mom never acts helpless. My childhood caused my feminism.

19. Having wonderful parents is the probably the best gift God ever gave me. Realizing that my parents are people with flaws, dreams, and virtues is the second greatest gift. Realizing what they gave me instead of what I thought they owe me brought us closer than ever. They are kind of like friend/role model parent hybrids now. Friends that buy me groceries and fix my car sometimes. It rocks.

20. Figure out YOUR faith in God. Not how to pretend to have the faith of the people around you. A close personal relationship with God is what you need to work towards. A close and personal relationship does not include comparing yourself to other people and feeling bad about where you are or where you have been. Find out who YOU are, and who GOD is, and proceed accordingly. You find out who God is by reading the bible. You find out who YOU are by figuring out what you want to be and  actually working at it, and hanging out with awesome people that love God too. Its a work in progress, with no finish line. I think the people that think they have it all together, have no idea how lost they really are. You are much better off with your doubts and desire to improve.

21. Its so hard to distinguish between unnecessary criticism and helpful advice. When someones says something to you that hurts, is it said in love or in spite? If it is said in love, ignoring it could be unproductive and damaging. If it is said in spite, anger, or jealousy, it could be wrong advice, or said when the person behind it misunderstands you. I'm still figuring that one out.

All of these little nuggets of wisdom spawn from my desire for truth. I feel the need to call things what they really are. It's a curse: an affliction. I lead a confused life in a cloud of jumbled up thoughts. These are just the things that I am under the impression that I have figured out so far. Input is welcome.