It's a Jolly Holiday....

I think there is a misconception out there in the universe that doing well in life means being alone. You know, like when you assume that if you don't need anyone, you are being successful?  There is a difference between self-relying and thriving. Yes, I do think that people can stand on their own two feet without any help. It is harder, lonelier,  heart-breaking and not a whole lot of fun. God put us on earth to love and be loved, to rely on others and to be relied upon.

You learned this in preschool; it's called "The Buddy System." No, I didn't invent this, I just brought it back to your attention. You are welcome.

I held this loner philosophy in high school. I don't really know what every person's high school experience was like, but my general understanding is that for most people, it was four years of black, satan-filled darkness. Awkward doesn't even begin to cover it.  I looked like Mary-Kathryn Gallagher from superstar. I pushed others away. I hated speaking to people. If you know me now, it is almost ridiculous to think of how I used to be compared  to how I am now.

It wasn't until college that I realized that  I was missing a very important person in my life. She is the Ethel to my Lucy, and the Bert to my Ernie. Her name is Mary, and I believe that everyone should have one.

On a tower in Italy. 

We met at a preview weekend the summer before freshman year of college.She sat across from me at a speech given by the college president. We both sat with our parents. I thought she was angry and hated the world, and she thought I was obnoxious.Who knew that a lifetime of epic friendship would grow from that day?

We roomed together for three years after that. If you went to a small Christian college like Geneva, you know the wild nights we had.... It was insane. We smoked grape flavored cigars in the designated smoking gazebo. We skipped required chapel. We walked to Sheetz at 2:00 am. We danced on campus and listened to secular music. We had all night movie marathons. We used swear words in moderation. We read Twilight and Cosmo.  We went to Italy for a semester BEFORE there was a conveniently designed and affordable program for happy little Geneva-ites to go to Italy together as a cozy little group and talk about Jesus together on their perfectly planned little weekend trips with a helpful  Italian-speaking guides (We still resent you for that, Geneva). We lived on 20 euro per week for groceries.We went through the Vatican Museum backwards, twice.  Then when we got back to the U.S.A. we eventually decided to shock the hell out of everyone and remained single, without an engagement ring at graduation.

We were Bad Asses.

I consider myself to be an emotionally stable individual, but everyone needs a Mary sometimes. Mary is the one that crawled into bed with me when my Grandma Suzie died on the first day of my senior year of college. She argued with the business department when they shut off my meal plan. She listened to my psycho-babble for MONTHS when the first boy broke my heart. When the second boy broke my heart, all I had to do was throw my car keys on the ground, nod my head,  and let my eyes well up with tears. She knew what to do, what happened, and how to make it better. Mary drove me all around Beaver County when I didn't yet have my driver's license. She talked her parents into letting me sleep in her attic when I needed to take summer classes, and when I started my first grown-up job.

Mary tells me that I do not have cholera, and she yells at me when I ignore medical advice. She knows when to buy me chocolate milk and when to take away the raw cookie dough. I tell her that she does not need to  take a grizzly bear safety course because we do not hike. I also consistently make fun of her for sleeping behind a locked door within arm's reach of a screwdriver to defend against intruders. She tells me when high heels are a bad decision.We remind each other that sleep is necessary to be functional adults. I consistently steal her socks.

Sometimes when we are together, we forget that other people can hear us engaging in our strange and enthusiastic conversation. Sometimes people look at us funny when we insist on listening to Celine Dion at full blast in the car (while doing dashboard piano and air violin). Sometimes people judge the fact that we love masterpiece classics, and are in love with several fictional British men. We understand that these haters are lost and confused.

We also argue like married people.We have fights that last hours and get nowhere.There once was a fight where she scotch-taped yellow nail polish to the mirror to remind me of my selfishness. We also fought for an hour about the meaning of the word  "phonetic". The fact that she refuses to watch The Godfather is a very sore spot in our relationship. However, our fights aren't always ridiculous. She told me when I had a really bad habit of not apologizing, and when I  used to bottle up my anger. She is my sounding board. I vent to her first when I am upset about something, because she is not afraid to tell me when I am being ridiculous or PMS-ing. She understands my need to define and analyze everything, and she listens. She is extremely wise, kind, loving and beautiful.

Who is your Mary? Is it your best friend? Your roommate?  Is it your husband, sister, mom, dad, or brother? Is it your youth pastor, your cousin or your cat? Whoever it is, you should give them a hug today and show your love as much as you can. Give them a call, or buy them flowers.Why? Because they probably need you as much as you need them. Waiting around for their birthday to tell them how much you care is for amateurs. It's wussy and lame. You can do better. Love like a champion.

 Also, NO OFFENSE, but you really CAN'T do it all alone. If you try to stand on your own two feet, without God, and without the people in your life that God has put there to support you, the evil in this world will knock you flat. You are more vulnerable if you are isolated. Haven't you ever seen a spy movie? Don't be an easy target! The buddy system still applies!

I actually checked the Bible, and the entire history of the world, and there has never been a instance of it being a bad idea to love someone. I'm talking like Corinthians 13 love. Turns out it's not just for weddings. It applies to best friends too. If you don't have a Mary yet, God will give you one when you are in black, satan-filled darkness like I was. You just have to recognize them when they come along.


Make sure you thank God for the people in your life. Every. Day.